HELLO. I just looked at that last post and it is so weird...

I am not that weird. jsyk

:)

a stream of consciousness post (about religion)

P.S. I myself don't really understand what I believe in. So I really don't expect anyone else to. But writing this post felt nice in a way. In the end it's just my view.. but I have a strong feeling I'm not the only one out there who shares this feeling right now :) 

While I'm here I want to tell my blog that since school has started, I've calibrated my sleeping cycle from 1am-12pm to a very healthy 11pm-7:30am. I am so proud of myself. Thank you God. And while I'm on the subject of God, you know recently I've had a period of confusion, a period of, basically not believing. Of wondering where that old feeling went where I had complete faith. There was a time when basically all I could do was pray and it was something I turned to instinctively. It gave me a feeling that I was being protected and that there was someone, something watching over me. And then it sort of faded away and I felt doubtful, lost. The more I wanted to believe, the harder it was. But now I've come to a calm place. Let me dump some more Gandhi quotes (he is actually so wise..):

• “All the religions of the world, while they may differ in other respects, unitedly proclaim that nothing lives in this world but Truth.“
• “Each one prays to God according to his own light.”
• “Every formula of every religion has in this age of reason, to submit to the acid test of reason and universal assent.”
• “Faith is not something to grasp, it is a state to grow into.”
• “Faith… must be enforced by reason… when faith becomes blind it dies.”
• “I believe in the fundamental truth of all great religions of the world.”
• “I reject any religious doctrine that does not appeal to reason and is in conflict with morality.”
• “In prayer it is better to have a heart without words than words without a heart.”
• “It is easy enough to be friendly to one’s friends. But to befriend the one who regards himself as your enemy is the quintessence of true religion. The other is mere business.”
• “One’s own religion is after all a matter between oneself and one’s Maker and no one else’s.”
• “Spiritual relationship is far more precious than physical. Physical relationship divorced from spiritual is body without soul.”
• “The essence of all religions is one. Only their approaches are different.”

And so now I realise it doesn't matter whether there's a 'God'. You don't need to imagine, like say a figure in the heavens who is watching over us and listening to our stories. Perhaps God is in everything (turns out there's a name for that belief), perhaps God is the universe, perhaps God is inside us, perhaps God is the earth. But it doesn't matter. Because we (I?) come to a stage where we recognise humanity, we recognise that this life and our existence, the beauties of the world (now I'm thinking of the grand canyon and how small, and how insignificant I am next to nature) could not possibly exist without something else.. and so I truly believe that there has to be something greater than ourselves. And that is religion/God/faith for me at least.

I don't know. Even if I doubt whether there was a Jesus, whether the bible was just morality stories, the Bible is so wise and so knowing that I value its lessons for what they teach me. 

In the past month, when people asked me whether I'm Christian, I say yes - but I hesitate. Because I honestly don't know if I am Christian. But I do believe in God. And I do pray. And I believe so much in God's values and morals. And I don't need to try to believe any more, because as Gandhi says 'faith is not something to grasp, it is a state to grow into'.

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Epiphany#1: In summer I have carb cravings and in winter I have sugar cravings.

Thought#2: Everyone in the world needs fixing. 

Quote#3: 'Some people have so much respect for their superiors they have none left for themselves'

I would continue being deep and errything but it's late..

meanwhile I actually feel so enlightened by Gandhi http://sourcesofinsight.com/gandhi-quotes/

Esp on faith

Goodbye blog maybe we will meet again. And maybe next time I will be a more centred person :)

When I woke up this morning, I was like I just have to blog about this dream. It was like a revelation when I woke up..

It was weird, right. Obviously, like every other dream.. They say you it's when you realise that something's not right in the world, that you realise it's a dream and you wake up. I was in my room with a friend and someone I've seen from school was trying to climb onto my roof, like I don't know, just for fun. And something in me was like, the roof is going to break so I was telling him through the window just to stop. He was with a bunch of people. It wasn't scary or anything, just annoying. Then fast forward, me and my sister were eating in the kitchen and another friend just turns up in our backyard, just for a visit.. Through the backyard.
Fast forward again, we're on the bus to school and I'm like, the things that are happening today don't seem real. Like I feel like I'm seeing things, don't you? It can't possibly be real. Things like that just don't happen.
She says, maybe.. maybe it's like online and offline mode. We take things from our online mode, absorb and use those elements to create in our offline mode. So maybe we're in our offline mode and we're seeing things, we're playing with reality right now. It's not actually happening but it seems like it is because it's based on reality. I'm like, yeah.. Like a dream. Yeah. That makes sense.
We're still on the bus and our school got relocated to like Strathfield. We need a mybus3 but it only takes 15 minutes from ruse. Like uh, doesn't make sense but I'll accept that. We keep going and then I see a caravan being pulled along.. Wait for it.. By a kangaroo. Ahahhahahahahhaha hah that was literally the funniest image. I still have it in my head. It was bounding along, with like reins connected to the caravan. I was like, I did not just see that. I must be hallucinating. But I looked around, and everyone else saw it too. I thought, there is no way that is reality. Which means we are all hallucinating. But how can so many people hallucinate the same thing? How can you share a dream, unless you're like twins. And that was the moment it all fell together.

It's hard to convey in words. But like yeah I woke up thinking, damn that was so cool.
And just an afterthought, the closest we get to portraying dreams is through surrealist paintings. Yess that where I'll find a kangaroo pulling a caravan. Cheers :) to weird and wonderful dreams..

lol

hi

trash

i will give my anything to erase you outta my life

why....

i needa pull myself together before i relapse. you don't care. so why should i?

somebody?

lol god. pls talk to me somehow... i dont know what im suppose to do. everything tells me this is a bad idea and it probably is, what if it goes "bad" again? i like being happy :L

you still so cute :)

?

i feel like i got stuff to say to you. i feel like nothings like really changed that much.  but i still think we should leave it the way it is?




:)

hello :)

feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelss great to be back :D:D:D:D:D:D:D

back ;) if ya know what i mean !!

imma snr now, there is so much work, which im kinda doing :L falling behind a bit but wateva.


everyday is a gift, not a given right <---- should be my new motto
so be happy and make other people happy BING!












ps. HI Winnie! :) since i never see you at school anymore